My Heart Won't Heal Right if You Keep Tearing Out The Sutures.

Sometimes I feel like the most oblivious person ever. But sometimes it's due to the way I choose to interpret things, I suppose. I always give the benefit of the doubt, assuming that if something is actually wrong, whoever it's wrong with will speak up and clue me in. I assume that if it's a friend, our friendship means enough on both ends that if something is off, my friend will come to me so we can resolve the issue. That's the way I treat friendships- if something is bothering me about the way interaction is flowing with a friend, I have no problem confronting them about it. The only time I really bottle up is when I know my ill feelings toward someone are the result of my anxiety disorder peaking and my reacting to them isn't fair and isn't actually reactions to anything they're doing or saying, it's just me being irritable because of the disorder with my brain. It's at that time that I tend to sort of drop off the face of the earth until the anxiety subsides. I guess I assume too much that people deal with things the same way that I do- if I know the problem is with me, I'm not going to try to pick fights with someone over it. But if the problem is with someone else, I will confront them because I want it resolved so we can move past the bad feelings and get back to living our amazing lives together.
I always thought I was decent at having an intuition for when something was off with someone and being able to stop and ask if everything is ok with them. Being an anti-drama queen, I don't really push it. If I ask, and they say everything is fine, I chose to believe them and let it go. I'm not psychic and I can't read minds, so if no one is going to say what's wrong with them, I'll never figure it out. And I understand that I can never know every circumstance behind every action, so there's no way I'm going to try. Especially in my personal life. I have to do more than a reasonable amount of detective work in my professional life and it leaves me too exhausted to have to work so hard in any other avenue of my life.
And I've always had this conviction about relationships, though it's been used more when looking at romantic relationships than friendships, generally, although it works for both. Relationships do take work, but the work is easy. It shouldn't be a huge, draining pain in the ass to make a relationship balanced. If it doesn't work out naturally for both people, it's just plain not meant to be. The work put into a relationship should be more that both people are willing to make equal efforts. But it should never feel forced or unbalanced. One should never be relied on more than the other to create a flow between the two people. When it's lopsided like that, I really think it comes down to the person putting in less values the relationship less. Which is fine. Not every relationship is meant to be a deep connection. Some people are meant to be your party friends. Or your business friends. Or your pen pals, or your networking friends, or your karaoke friends, or your dinner date friends. Not every friend is meant to be your best friend. If you both really want it to work out that way, it will. If you both value each other equally, it will balance out naturally.
Anyway. Ranting about things doesn't really get us anywhere but more frustrated, so I think I'll go cash out now.