Can Anybody Out There Hear Me?

Because I can't seem to hear myself...

So Flynn and I went to Long Beach over the weekend and I'm freaking out that I totally have coxsackie now, which would only really suck if I was contageous. Because I'm super busy (I have 3 jobs now guys! That's where I've been if you haven't heard from me recently... it's not that I don't love you, I just barely have time to eat or sleep anymore) and because I don't want to get people like Flynn or Kate sick. They especially can't afford getting ill right now. My sinuses went nuts last week during the 9.5 allergen rating blah blah whatever, and I am all clogged up. So I'm sick, hopped up on tons of pseudoephedrines, hard of hearing, having trouble breathing, and suffering major sleep deprivation. But it's fun. Job #3 is cutest, most exciting in a promising-life-goal kind of way. Job #2 is hardest but most challenging and I'm learning a ton. Job #1 feeds me.

I took a break from life last night and just watched about 6 hours straight of Six Feet Under. Becoming Emily Previn has always been my biggest fear in life, but I've never really known how to talk about it. I told Chris once about being scared of becoming invisible and I think he thought I was crazy. But I could so easily see myself turning into her, and I don't like it. "I think the thing you said was true- I'm going to die alone and sad"...